


Eggs of Unknown Origin

by CatMoran (akaCat)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-24
Updated: 2006-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-10 06:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/96727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akaCat/pseuds/CatMoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life in Atlantis can be a little strange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eggs of Unknown Origin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for slodwick's [4th Annual 'A Picture is Worth a 1000 Words' Challenge](http://community.livejournal.com/picfor1000/28094.html). Exactly 1000 words. If you don't count the notes, the title and 'The End'. Which you shouldn't. The picture is at the bottom of the post.
> 
> Takes place early in Season 1. Small spoiler for '38 Minutes'.
> 
> Thanks to my awesome betas, cornfldprincess, justplainsteve and mecurtin. Everything that works in this fic is their doing, blame me for the rest.

John woke suddenly. The memory-echo of a sound made him wary and he listened carefully as he opened his eyes. The rising sun lit the room; he could see that no one was lurking in the corners.

He rolled quietly off the bed, slipped his 9mm off the bedside table and crept to the open door of the bathroom. Gun held ready, he stepped through the doorway quickly and swept the small room in a glance. Seeing nothing odd, he lowered the gun.

Wide-awake now, he decided he might as well get an early start on the day. He laid his gun back on the bedside table and walked back into the bathroom. Reaching for his toothbrush, he froze.

Tucked nearly out of sight behind his shaving kit were two eggs. Both were a cheery yellow, one with multi-colored stripes, the other with blue dots.

He reached for one to get a closer look at it, then pulled his hand back. How could there be Easter eggs in Atlantis? John knew they hadn't brought eggs through the Stargate. There was a limited supply of not-quite-chicken eggs from the Athosians, but those were a dark mottled brown and a bit larger than chicken eggs. If anything, these eggs were smaller than chicken eggs.

There was no telling where these eggs came from, or *what* they came from. John lifted one hand to rub at the spot on his neck where a giant bug had latched onto him not so long ago, and backed out of the bathroom.

He needed to have the eggs identified, make sure they weren't anything dangerous. He needed a scientist. One he could wake up at 0530.

* * *

John pounded on Rodney's door for the third time in two minutes. He was about to ask Atlantis to unlock the door when it slid open. Rodney stood in the doorway, wearing threadbare sweatpants and a T-shirt, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "Major. What can I do for you in the middle of this fine night?"

Skipping pleasantries and arguments about the time, John said, "I found eggs."

Rodney's face lit up. "Really? Great! I missed out on the last batch of scrambled eggs. Do I have time to get dressed?"

John rubbed his neck. "I don't think they're that sort of egg. They're -- well, I was hoping you could tell me what kind of eggs they are. They're in my quarters."

Rodney crossed his arms and frowned at John. "You shouldn't keep eggs in your quarters, they'll spoil. Unless you have a refrigerator. Did Atlantis give you a refrigerator? Because I could really use one, too."

John sighed. "I'm not *keeping* eggs in my quarters, that's where I found them. Could you take a look and tell me what kind they are?"

"Huh. That's weird." Rodney turned back into his room. John followed him in, hoping to keep Rodney from getting sidetracked.

Rodney's quarters looked much like his own, except for a collection of half-disassembled artifacts on the desk and several diplomas tacked to the walls. John guessed that they were scanned copies, printed after they arrived in Atlantis. He poked his head into the bathroom; it seemed to be egg-free.

Rodney made a pleased noise and said, "I guess you aren't the only special person around here." John turned back to see Rodney taking a pale green egg covered in pastel colored triangles out of a dresser drawer.

John took a step back. "Should you really be handling that? Before we know what it is?"

Rodney turned the egg this way and that, studying it. "It's just an Easter egg." He tapped it sharply with one finger. "Huh. Not calcium, almost like the shell is hard sugar. I'll have to break it to see what's inside."

Too fast for John to stop him, Rodney brought the egg down hard on the top of the dresser. He picked up the largest piece and examined the exposed core of the egg. With a delighted smile he announced, "It's chocolate!"

John jumped forward to stop Rodney from taking a bite. "Hold on, we still don't know where it came from!"

"But- chocolate!" Rodney sighed heavily. "You might be right. It could be poisoned, or orange chocolate. *That* definitely wouldn't be good."

"Any idea how we can figure out who left it?"

Rodney gave him an inscrutable look. "Possibly. I'll get back to you."

* * *

John really didn't like the idea of eggs of unknown origin scattered throughout his city. So while he waited to hear from Rodney, he sent the military personnel out through the city, locating and gathering all the eggs. He told them that the eggs were toxic for their safety and his own; he shuddered at the thought of what would happen to him if the eggs were declared safe and the scientists discovered he'd let the marines eat all the chocolate.

Finally, Rodney called John and told him to come to his lab.

John walked into the lab and spotted Rodney sitting at a lab bench, bent over his laptop. "So, what's so secret that you couldn't tell me over the radio?"

"Security video of the perpetrator."

John glared at Rodney. "Wait, since when do we have security cameras? And why wasn't I informed?"

Rodney snorted. "If I told you officially you'd have to tell Bates. Next thing we know, he'd have some grunt watching everyone's quarters."

"Huh. He might." John looked at the laptop display over Rodney's shoulder and saw the image of a furry white creature with long ears, holding a basket. "Cute. Did you spend all this time pasting a picture of a rabbit onto a photo of a corridor?"

Rodney just smirked and hit the spacebar. John's mouth dropped open a little as the image unpaused, clearly showing the Easter Bunny hopping through the corridors of Atlantis.

"Well, it could've been worse," Rodney said.

"I don't see how!"

Rodney grinned. "He could've been six feet tall." He paused for effect. "And invisible."

The End!

* * *


End file.
